Assalamualaikum!
A super quick update, I typed this entry in my phone's memo, masa tu kat kampung, tak boleh tidur so tengah fikir-fikir, tetiba dapat idea nak buat entry ni. And taip je ikut suka hati, and ni lah hasilnya. This is a reminder for us, including myself too.

1. Know your self value
If someone isn't treating you the way you deserve, leave. Never, ever beg for attention, for love, for anything. You worth more than that. Don't be upset if someone doesn't treat you right, when in fact, you're the one who doesn't treat yourself right. You need to get what you deserve, but never beg. you want love? You want attention? you want happiness? Stop depending on others and start working on them on your own, because you're stronger and definitely capable of achieving those things by yourself.

2. Moving on is hard, but keep going.
It's not gonna be easy. You'll be reminded of the same person everywhere you set your eyes on. It's not gonna take 2 seconds. Just when you think you've forget him(also apply for her), he comes rolling back in your mind. But if you stop trying, you'll never succeed. Instead of forcing yourself to not be reminded of him, just let yourself naturally enjoy what you do daily. Enjoy your time with your friends, enjoy what you eat during lunch, enjoy looking at the cloud during day, enjoy looking at the stars during night. What he did to you doesn't deserve the time you spent mourning. You can't lose to him, and you can't let him win. Not after he hurt you. Remember #1, self worth.

3. Never underestimate the power of du'a.
There's this time when my laptop broke down, it just literally "hang" forever, and I just had to forcefully shut down the laptop by pressing the power button- which is not good for the device. I did try uninstalling unnecessary software and it did work, my laptop works normally after that. For about... two weeks or so. I couldn't uninstall any other software because being an ICT student, I do need to have those softwares installed. I came to a dead end. Until, I decided to try to make du'a after prayer even though it kinda sounds silly. My prayer sounds like... "Ya Allah kau bantulah baiki laptop aku. Kau bantulah hambaMu yang buntu ini" it was short, because I thought it was silly. I didn't use my laptop for a few days. And after that, when I turned it on for the first time after I made that 'silly' du'a and use it, surprisingly, magically, my laptop works just fine! I'm seriously speechless, and words couldn't describe just how thankful I was. Alhamdulillah, no problem on my laptop till today. Now that I've experienced myself, over something that I thought so silly, but decided to still give a try, I learnt that we should never, ever, underestimate the power of du'a, and Allah's bless. He granted whatever He wants to grant. Put your trust on Him. Sometimes, He just want your effort :-)

4. Sadly, love isn't based on effort.
This is suuuuuper personal, but I'm gonna spill it anyway. There was this one boy who had crush on me,  I knew it from his friend, who's also my friend. And this boy wants to y'know, get to know me more blabla and I said to his friend that I'm still too lazy for relationshit thingy but I'm okay if he wants to tegur2 me like reply story or what. Because the boy is super shy and  I lowkey don't even notice his existence until my friend brought him up lol. Then the boy talked to me thru insta, then whatsapp blabla. He was nice, I admit it. He adores me like I'm the most perfect person in this world, but his sweet talking is too much and too cringy tbh. I know he was trying to win me or whatever, but like... 3 days after we started talking(on social media only) he started to treat me like I'm his girlfriend. Like... bruh... chill. I can see his effort, morning text, his caringness(is that a word?), long ass goodnight text, but I feel... uhmm...

At a point I do think I could try to like this boy but since he rushed things so it kinda ruined my mood, and I kept trying to remember all his efforts in hope it will overpower other annoying things he did, but nope. I just couldn't find myself feeling the same.
Ironically, before him, I tried to win this one boy's heart by effort too. I mean I like him first, so I did try to be friend and we kind of did, but that's all. Because he still wasn't over his ex. Then I realized, when your heart is just simply not there, no effort can beat it.

5. Buat nota study awal-awal.
Please la Zahidah. Please.

6. Share the burden with others.
This happened the most recent, when me and my partner, Syaurah had to do our Web Programming project which is a website. I keep on stressing myself to do it alone since I'm afraid Syaurah wouldn't be able to do it, or I might be unsatisfied, or it would take too much time to work on together, so I decided to do most of the work by myself. Well, basically, I did the project by myself. The interface design, the database, the functions-login, register, blabla. I faced with failures and mistakes alone. I watched numerous tutorial videos on youtube. Googled every time I get any error. Had to push the thought to just give up the marks for the projects for so many times already, at one point, I even cried because of the pressure and the frustating errors that I found no working solution!!! Not to mention I worked on the project during my finals exams. It was honestly so hard, I don't want to remember. Syaurah does offers help, she's not a bad friend, but it's just me and my ego, I want to satisfy myself by doing the exact thing in my mind.

On the project presentation day, there's still a lot of things were undone. after taking my last paper, I came back straight to hostel and started doing the project. My eyes hurt so much due to having no sleep, but I still won't give up. Thankfully, I found solution to the problems blabla, and then I gave the easiest task to Syaurah. I ask her to insert pictures to our website. And she gladly helped. She was really excited, I would say, to contribute in the project. I feel so relaxed and even kinda wants to add more to her task, and guess what, right after she was done inserting images for the site, she asked what can she do next, which is the exact thing I want to ask her to do.

We are no superhumans. Share the burden with someone, do not worn your body out just to feed your ego. If your friend didn't know how, help to teach them. Doing things for them will not be any better of a help. Do not push yourself too hard, lean on others too.


That's all I guess. And... Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to my readers!
Assalamualaikum 😊

Also, Al-fatihah kepada phone aku yang dah selamat dikebumikan semalam.